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hisuiai So, here's what happened today: I'm not sure what to think of the counselling session thing I had today... am I supposed to like them? Feel better after them? What? I don't understand! (* ハ)ｴｰﾝ
It started out semi-okay, I guess... like, it's a first session do you really want to dig right in and make me cry straight away? Apparently yes, yes she does. Think back to what you think caused your anxiety issues, how do you feel? If your tears could talk what would they say right now? I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE! (≧ヘ≦) ﾑｩ I probably should have been more cooperative I suppose, but I don't give a fuck what caused my anxiety, I just want to get over it.
I don't know... I felt like she was deliberately trying to make me feel like shit under the guise of trying to figure out my 'pain'. Congratulations Counsellor-lady, I barely felt up for class afterwards! I went home like twenty minutes after the session so I could just not deal with people for a while. Hrm. I know part of my anxiety stems from shitty customers, and shitty friends during the entirety of my school life, but I shouldn't have to talk about how horrid people treated me years ago (or a couple of months ago (customer, not friend)).
I just don't get why she was pushing so hard when I told her repeatedly that: one, I'd rather not talk about it; two, I'd rather not cry because I have a full day of class ahead of me; three, I don't even know what to say. Sure, okay, maybe I shouldn't have brushed one thing off as a joke... but considering she told me I was 'too laid back' to even bother with trying to get over anxiety I feel like I can make jokes okay! Hi, guess what, I'd rather joke than keep the awkward silence we have going! Honestly, it was awful... and the ticking of the clock is so loud in that room.
So after the even more awkward ending where I had to fill in a form about how I felt about the session in front of her, I went back to class. R was alright about it... she was surprised I actually agreed to the sessions, but, eh, whatever helps. She said it was fine if I wanted to leave, and (I don't understand why) reassured me that the class liked me even K, who sits next me and doesn't turn up over eighty percent of the time and pokes fun at me for being the smart one.
Anyway, I went home... tried some Darjeeling tea in the Breville (it tasted so much better without sugar even though the box recommended it with), and did absolutely nothing for the rest of the day.
Today I watched: Batman: Under the Red Hood
So I only know the story of Jason Todd from fanfiction and spoilers... probably not the best place to be watching this from considering beforeTeen Titans I didn't even know there were multiple Robins. Yeah, I feel like such a sham... I should no longer be allowed to call myself a fan of things. Juuuuuust kidding! I'm an awesome fan who gets to learn new things about Batman canon every time I find something new or old♥
Anyway, I vaguely knew the story of Jason Todd before this, but yeah... why was I not expecting this? I knew what was going to happen and yet I was still being all 'oh no!', etc, etc, about it. Ah well, I was invested and that's usually a good thing♥
Moving on! I was a bit surprised at Jensen Ackles... I knew NPH was in this, but Jensen was a surprise. Unfortunately, it wasn't exactly a pleasant one for a while because it took longer than I would have liked to separate Jensen's voice from Dean Winchester. (´Д⊂ヽ
Right, so... I really don't have much to talk about concerning this movie. I mean, there are some stuff I would have liked to have happen in it; a proper confrontation between Red Hood and Nightwing for example (because it wasn't just Bruce who lost Jason, gdi!). But I did really like the flashbacks in the movie too, they were really helpful for the not-really-knowing-Batman-canon-well me lol Plus lots of feelings for everyone everywhere. I was a tad annoyed at Bruce's 'he was my soldier, it was my failure' shtick, but I suppose that's probably more IC for him than actually admitting his feelings so I guess I can deal lol
Today I played: Devil May Cry: Vergil's Downfall
So, around $9 later I have the ability to play as Vergil. Hell yeah. Except it took a while before that actually happened.
First, I decided I'd download DMC3 seeing as I just had it sitting around in my Steam games library. Ugh, I regret it so much... it's so much better on the PS3. But I guess that's because the controls are weird on the PC. Oh well.
Finally, I decided I'd buy the DLC for DMC♥ I'm not sure what I think of it yet considering I'm only on Mission 3, and I suck at playing as Vergil. Someone, please, teach me his combos! ( *´艸｀)ｸｽｯ♪ It's interesting to play though, and hopefully it'll help me understand Vergil better because I never feel like I have a good enough grasp on his character.
To Do Tomorrow:
●That project
●Language study, gdi!
●Cleaning
●Check uni moodle
●Write something
It started out semi-okay, I guess... like, it's a first session do you really want to dig right in and make me cry straight away? Apparently yes, yes she does. Think back to what you think caused your anxiety issues, how do you feel? If your tears could talk what would they say right now? I DON'T KNOW AND I DON'T CARE! (≧ヘ≦) ﾑｩ I probably should have been more cooperative I suppose, but I don't give a fuck what caused my anxiety, I just want to get over it.
I don't know... I felt like she was deliberately trying to make me feel like shit under the guise of trying to figure out my 'pain'. Congratulations Counsellor-lady, I barely felt up for class afterwards! I went home like twenty minutes after the session so I could just not deal with people for a while. Hrm. I know part of my anxiety stems from shitty customers, and shitty friends during the entirety of my school life, but I shouldn't have to talk about how horrid people treated me years ago (or a couple of months ago (customer, not friend)).
I just don't get why she was pushing so hard when I told her repeatedly that: one, I'd rather not talk about it; two, I'd rather not cry because I have a full day of class ahead of me; three, I don't even know what to say. Sure, okay, maybe I shouldn't have brushed one thing off as a joke... but considering she told me I was 'too laid back' to even bother with trying to get over anxiety I feel like I can make jokes okay! Hi, guess what, I'd rather joke than keep the awkward silence we have going! Honestly, it was awful... and the ticking of the clock is so loud in that room.
So after the even more awkward ending where I had to fill in a form about how I felt about the session in front of her, I went back to class. R was alright about it... she was surprised I actually agreed to the sessions, but, eh, whatever helps. She said it was fine if I wanted to leave, and (I don't understand why) reassured me that the class liked me even K, who sits next me and doesn't turn up over eighty percent of the time and pokes fun at me for being the smart one.
Anyway, I went home... tried some Darjeeling tea in the Breville (it tasted so much better without sugar even though the box recommended it with), and did absolutely nothing for the rest of the day.
□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□
Today I watched: Batman: Under the Red Hood
So I only know the story of Jason Todd from fanfiction and spoilers... probably not the best place to be watching this from considering beforeTeen Titans I didn't even know there were multiple Robins. Yeah, I feel like such a sham... I should no longer be allowed to call myself a fan of things. Juuuuuust kidding! I'm an awesome fan who gets to learn new things about Batman canon every time I find something new or old♥
Anyway, I vaguely knew the story of Jason Todd before this, but yeah... why was I not expecting this? I knew what was going to happen and yet I was still being all 'oh no!', etc, etc, about it. Ah well, I was invested and that's usually a good thing♥
Moving on! I was a bit surprised at Jensen Ackles... I knew NPH was in this, but Jensen was a surprise. Unfortunately, it wasn't exactly a pleasant one for a while because it took longer than I would have liked to separate Jensen's voice from Dean Winchester. (´Д⊂ヽ
Right, so... I really don't have much to talk about concerning this movie. I mean, there are some stuff I would have liked to have happen in it; a proper confrontation between Red Hood and Nightwing for example (because it wasn't just Bruce who lost Jason, gdi!). But I did really like the flashbacks in the movie too, they were really helpful for the not-really-knowing-Batman-canon-well me lol Plus lots of feelings for everyone everywhere. I was a tad annoyed at Bruce's 'he was my soldier, it was my failure' shtick, but I suppose that's probably more IC for him than actually admitting his feelings so I guess I can deal lol
□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□
Today I played: Devil May Cry: Vergil's Downfall
So, around $9 later I have the ability to play as Vergil. Hell yeah. Except it took a while before that actually happened.
First, I decided I'd download DMC3 seeing as I just had it sitting around in my Steam games library. Ugh, I regret it so much... it's so much better on the PS3. But I guess that's because the controls are weird on the PC. Oh well.
Finally, I decided I'd buy the DLC for DMC♥ I'm not sure what I think of it yet considering I'm only on Mission 3, and I suck at playing as Vergil. Someone, please, teach me his combos! ( *´艸｀)ｸｽｯ♪ It's interesting to play though, and hopefully it'll help me understand Vergil better because I never feel like I have a good enough grasp on his character.
□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□*■*□
To Do Tomorrow:
●That project
●Language study, gdi!
●Cleaning
●Check uni moodle
●Write something
